Thursday, September 29, 2011

SHOOTing Hoops

True conversation between myself and my high-school age daughter a few years ago...

Mom, why are you wearing THOSE hoops? They're too big--you know what those mean, right?

These hoops mean something? Like what? Enlighten me. 

Big hoop earrings are ok, but if they're too big they cross a line. Your's definitely cross the line.

Wait. Line? What line? (3+ inches in diameter in case you're curious...)

I hate to say it, Mom. I can't believe I'm saying this, but those are "whore earrings." 

Excuse me? I beg your pardon? 

They're WHORE earrings. Big hoops are fine, but those are too big.

How do you know? Define "too big"? How many inches? How do you know this?

No set measurement, Mom--you're just not supposed to wear them that big. You've crossed the line.

Here's the beauty of being 51 years old. I DON'T CARE IF MY HOOPS ARE TOO BIG. 

Mom, you don't get it. They're just too big. Only whores wear earrings that big.

No, Darlin'. You don't understand. I LOVE big earrings in all shapes, colors, sizes. Big hoops scream FUN when I see them dangling from a woman's ears. It's all about the fun. 

Yes, but... You don't want them to scream, "Whore," do you? It's like... you just have to know what those mean.

Am I a whore?

Mom--of course not! Don't be ridiculous. You're my Mom. 

Right. I'm married to your Dad, one Dad, my husband of almost 30 years. There's been no other man in my life... 

Mom, I know that. It's just that...

No, Love, it's just that at 51 years old I don't give a flying fig about the size of my hoops. Shoot! I'll wear the biggest hoops I can find. Let's go shopping. Do they make 4 inch hoops? Shoot those hoops! No one's going to define the size of my hoops. 

The great thing about being middle-aged? Being deeply glad that I wear whatever size earrings I choose without fear of being labeled, "A Whore."

I'm a middle-aged Mom who refuses to succumb to labels, refuses to put people in boxes. I'm speechless, actually, in the face of these arbitrary labels, stereotypes, narrow definitions.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.  I stop, I ponder, I squirm...

Somewhere out there someone wears a label that I created for them inside my head. This is what a 16-year-old looks/acts like. This is what a 53-year-old husband should be saying/feeling/experiencing. This is what a friend looks like. You are normal. You are not normal. Do you know what those hoops really mean?

Today. Today I'm jumping through HOOPS--seriously large hoops. No more labels, no more stereotypes, no more boxes. I'm going to wear HOOPS as big as I choose. I'm going to love as big as I may, and widen my circle called "normal." Shoot, let's jump.

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious conversation! I remember knowing WAY much more than my mom. Soon it will be my turn to be "educated" by my daughter. This is funny stuff!


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