Thursday, November 17, 2011

Giving You Grace, Part 3

Snapshot 5 - Waiting/Experiencing Grace
We're pregnant!
Our pregnancy lasted 16+ months and was a mixture of waiting + doubt + incredulity over the miracles + anticipation + longing + worry + oodles and caboodles of paperwork.

For our other 4 birth children I may have used the term our pregnancy just to be cute/inclusive, but this time C earned the use of that personal pronoun--didn't know the man had that much paperwork in him!

An adoption pregnancy has its pros; there's no growing belly, no queasiness, and no stretch marks (had enough stretch marks to cover #5--not to worry). But with no visible signs people sometimes forget you're pregnant, forget you're waiting, forget to ask how it's going...

When the call comes that it's time to "deliver" your new daughter it's bizarre. You're not leaving the siblings behind for a number of hours and you're only 15 minutes away. Nope, the "hospital" is a 13-hour plane ride away and no medical professional is telling you not to travel. For that 13 hours you're in labor and there are FAR TOO MANY people in the delivery room, plus none of them realizes you're about to give birth! Weird.

Once we arrived in Russia things got even more surreal, more bizarre; most of the time it felt like an out-of-body experience. All of my "trust issues" surfaced big time--more on that later if I learn to trust you.:)  

I spent our almost three weeks in Moscow and Perm, Russia alternating between fear, joy, tears, jitters, calm, worry, deep gratitude, loneliness, stress, compassion, fascination, strength-I-didn't-know-was-there. 

Our trip to "deliver" Grace Olya brought out the best and worst in myself; everything inside--light, dark, and in between--came to the surface.

Grace Olya in Russia, Our Daughter, Like the haircut she gave herself in the orphanage? Love the freckles? The eyes? Isn't she amazing, incredible, adorable?

Meeting HER
     Fear/Jitters/Bundle of Nerves/Akward
Will this meeting be akward? (Duh!) Will she like us? Will she love us? Will I experience the same love rush for her right when I lay eyes on her? Will she want to leave the orphanage? Will she want to come home? Will we be her home?

   Joy/Tears/Deep gratitude/Fascination/Awe/Captivating/Fun/Feisty/Fabulous Firsts
Answer to all above questions... YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!

More snapshots of Grace to come...


  1. Oh my GOSH, this is SUCH a story!!! And she is so, so, so beautiful. That smile! Those eyes! I think I would have just cried until I was dry the entire time I was there!


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