Actively Dating

Fall Recipe 2
Prep Time: 30 min

Choose 1 brisk, gorgeous fall day. 
Prepare husband in advance:

• To check bike tires
• To make picnic lunch, including PBJ sandwiches 
• To wear backpack entire time
• To select destination and plan route

Dress in comfortable exercise clothes (layers not optional).

Ask husband whether he's packed water bottles (at least 3 times).

Agree with selected destination, route, and--most importantly--with total distance being covered.

Climb onto bikes (grace optional).

Follow behind husband on bike trails--sometimes way behind... until he looks back and graciously waits for you with fake smile that doesn't convince you he's not annoyed that you're not keeping up.

Admire husband's athleticism and back-end view. Repeat.

Pant appropriately as necessary.

Follow all rabbit trails in park to see where they lead...

Develop healthy caution while biking alongside golf course, keeping head up at all times.

Let husband convince you to bike on unpaved trail through woods, resulting in astounding fall color tour and picnic beside creek/mini waterfall.
Listen to leaves crunching under bike tires.

Stand side-by-side on creek bridge with husband's arm around you, remaining mostly silent so that you hear nature's sounds around you, kissing occasionally*.

Ponder autumn. Leaves. Love. Birds. God. Offspring. How sweet it is to smell his smell/fall smells mingled together.

Sit side-by-side on large rock alongside creek in the woods with absolutely no other human being in sight.

Eat PBJ sandwiches and baby carrots.

Oooohhh and aaaaahhhh appropriately to taste.

Talk. Sit in silence. Chew. Think. Listen. Drink water. Snuggle. Repeat.

Climb back on bikes for return trip (grace optional).
Try to be happy for husband when he spots a blue heron and you miss it.

Follow husband along trails, smugly noting that he's not as far ahead any more.

Admire husband's athleticism and back-end view. Repeat.

Let husband convince you to check out different view of creek since it's only 1/2 mile more while being certain that his 1/2 mi is incorrectly estimated.

Remain silent when 1/2 mile turns out to be 1.5 miles extra roundtrip.

Pant incessantly as necessary.

Bike by daughter's high school, waving and calling out hello as though she'll see and hear you--realizing that if she did she'd die of embarrassment. 

Arrive home happy, hungry, hoping for another day--another date.

Bake at 48 degrees. Cool before removing yourselves from bikes.


*Kisses optional
Note - Best served with fresh husband/ingredients.

 

Woman-eyes-ing!

I'm just going to put it out there. I L-O-V-E women--always have, always will. 

Should I be accused of gender-bias? (Is that contagious?) Should my husband be worried? Should my sons, uncles, brother, brother-in-laws, male co-workers, male friends--all be deeply offended? Note - I would have mentioned my Dad and grandpas but they're dead and gone so what's the point of worrying about offending them?

So why??? What's so great about women??? Why is a happily married woman and mother of two wonderful sons going on and on about loving women? Why do I L-O-V-E women?  

Hmmmm. I L-O-V-E women because...
1. I am one.
2. I get them, most of the time.
3. Women git er done! Yes, they do. They git er done!
4. They're beautiful. I'm not talking about the current media definition of beautiful. I'm talking about beautiful in an inside-out, outside-in sort of way. Women exude beauty. Does that make sense to anyone out there?
5. They're laughing one minute, crying the next, then solid-as-a-rock/steady as she goes the next. Yes, you might extrapolate from this last statement that they're complicated--and you would be right.
6. My woman-friends, a.k.a., girlfriends, get me. We speak the same language--most of the time. 
7. Women are jugglers. They keep multiple balls in the air at any given time, and when they drop one (or all balls crash to the floor) they find a way to make it look like part of their act.
8. They're strong. Freakishly strong--tenaciously strong--hold-on-by-their-fingernails strong. Even when they fall apart they're strong in a messy sort-of, in-your-face sort-of-strong way.
9. They love their people--really love their people.
10. They fill a room with color. A room full of women = a rainbow. Seriously.


Now if you're reading this and you think I've over-generalized and you don't know women who fit all 10 of my above reasons for loving women: I'm sorry to hear that. Please contact me asap since every woman that I'm remotely drawn to and even slightly close with really does fit every one of these descriptions--you may want me to introduce you.


If you're reading this and you're one of the women in my life: Honestly, girlfriends (includes family members), you're amazing. You rock. You're dazzling. Thank you.


Yup/yep. I love being a woman (I had my uterus removed at age 36 so I don't even need to qualify that statement with a monthly exception). I L-O-V-E women.

Lions and Skunks and Bunnies--Oh My!

It's been way too many years--21 to be exact, but who's counting?

Let's just say that we were barely squeaking by and not all that well to do financially speaking (code for flat broke). I decided that making halloween costumes would be the way to go--none of those cheap store-bought plastic masks for my munchkins! It was time to pull out all the stops and creative juices. Of course, my creativity seemed greatly limited by the fact that we didn't own a sewing machine, but I would find a way to get around that with some glue, markers, plus a needle and thread.

Sew I took 2 pairs of sleeper pajamas, a pair of black jeans, and black sweatshirt and created whatever animal each one chose. I tried to deter the skunk choice--even resorting to plugging my nose and looking disgusted by the imaginary smell, but our oldest would not be swayed. (I wonder if the fact that we had watched Bambi together for his first ever theater movie experience had anything to do with his choice... What's the name of Bambi's skunk friend again, Flower?)

What fun I had making those costumes! I thought our trick-or-treaters deserved the best costume prize. Well, ok, maybe not THE best costume. I'd have settled for some sort of ingenuity award--using limited resources to bring unlimited smiles on Halloween night. Our 2-year-old lion, 4-year-old bunny, and 5 year-old skunk scampered/padded/hopped down the sidewalks and I followed closely behind to admire the various tails that I'd hand-sewn onto their back ends (of the pajamas and black jeans--NOT their flesh-and-blood back ends--ouch!)

My favorite memory of that 1990 Halloween night? Ah, that's easy... Listening to our 2-year-old lion tell every person/animal/character that he met, I'm a yion--RAARRRRR!!!

Halloween 2011's almost here. Our household currently consists of 3 adults and 1 teenager. I'll help my 16-year-old figure out how to dress as TinkerBell for her youth group Disney-theme costume party, and I'll insist on carving a pumpkin because you're never too old to carve a pumpkin. I've bought three bags of candy, currently stashed safely under our bed or they will be consumed pre-Halloween night for certain. I'm planning to dress up as ? to hand out candy to our neighborhood trick-or-treaters as I ooooohhh and ahhhhhh over the adorable little pumpkins, angels, and toy story characters standing at our door. We live in a new neighborhood that promises to keep our doorbell ringing, so that's exciting!

But it won't be the same. I'll be missing all of the halloweens gone-before with our hyper little live pumpkins who begged to skip dinner 'cause, Why can't we just go trick-or-treating now and then come back to eat candy? I'll be looking at the refrigerator magnet of the cutout photo with my lion, skunk, and bunny, and in the distance I'll be hearing a hoarse little two year old growl, I'm a yion--RAARRRRR!!!!! 

Please, dear God, send us some yions, skunks, and bunnies this year. Please.

Director-ly Related

It's been about 6 months give or take a few, and I confess that the whole situation still feels a bit odd, weird in fact.

We've lived together for 30.5 years--we're roommates, best friends--really, sometimes completely exasperated-with each-other-friends, lovers, fighters, parenting cohorts, and--of course--spouses. (What kind of a word is spouse anyway?) But I digress...

Now we work together, commute together, walk by each other at work, and sit across the table from each other in Director's meetings. Odd. Weird. Who would have thought we'd work at the same place and sit in the same meetings?


I confess that it's a mixed bag. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes it feels a bit much--not always enough space. It takes some getting used to that's for certain, especially when I speak up boldly in a meeting and catch that look--the one that seems to say, Oh my. What's going to come out of her mouth NOW? So she freely expresses her opinions and ideas here, too... 

But this isn't about the challenging stuff that comes in working together. No, sir/maam--this is about the sweet spots--the good stuff. 


We had sat together in 3 (count them--3) all day Director's meetings. They weren't your average run-of-the-mill, boring, drone on-and-on meetings. They were INTENSE--with a facilitator--with everyone participating whether they wanted to or not. 

And I watched him, listenened to him, hung on his words. I saw that his new co-workers offered him their respect. They, too, listened to him; they seemed to hang on his words.


I listened as he quietly made himself vulnerable and shared that he had never experienced working within a team--that he had always worked solo, hidden away and isolated. As he conveyed his pleasure in being on a team I found myself smiling, no--beaming, absolutely delighted that he seemed contented and right at home on the leadership team, our leadership team.

But the real sweet spot came yesterday at our 1-hour Director's meeting. I walked into the conference room and sat down. My colleague in the chair next to me smiled. I smiled back. (Aren't we nice?) And then came the sweetest words from my colleague: 

You know--one of the best parts about these meetings has been watching you watch your husband. Did you know that every time he talks you're looking at him with the most adoring look on your face. Every man should be so lucky--to have a woman looking at him like that. It's a joy to watch!

SWEEEEEEET! Wow. Who knew? I do love going to work with my man of 30+ years, most of the time. Yes indeed. I do. And when he speaks I listen. I smile. I probably grin. I love what he says--it's deep, thoughtful, wise. I love it that he's part of the leadership team and he finds himself rowing with a crew. I love it that we're rowing together. (Well, most of the time.) 

SWEEEEETEST SPOT - Somebody caught me respecting, loving, admiring my guy, my husband, my life's partner, my spouse. I think we'll sit in this sweetest of spots for a long, long while... Another 30 years? Perhaps. 

Cows Optional

Fall Recipe
Preparation Time - 3+ hrs
 
Choose a gorgeous, sun-drenched, crisp fall afternoon.
Pack a picnic lunch.
Bring a beautiful friend.
Select an idyllic setting (and if it happens to be a winery out in the country with cows* grazing all around--so much the better).
Drive at moderate speeds, stirring incessant conversations slowly with deep, soul-searching questions and spontaneous bursts of loud laughter.

Arrive at destination and disembark--leaving all awareness of time behind in your vehicle.
Scan the property. Ooooh and ahhhh appropriately to taste.
Take note of surrounding vineyards--and straight rows upon straight rows of grapevines--prior to wine-tasting (when rows may no longer appear straight).

Begin tasting reds and whites while asking every manner of questions about the various grapes and chemical processes used to make the wines you're tasting.
Decide on your favorite reds and/or whites--then put on your most puzzled-looking face, asking for one more pour since without it you'll not be able to make up your mind as to which bottles you'd like to purchase, thus getting more for your tasting dollar than the other customers beside you.

Meander outside with a bottle of your favorite red/white and your picnic lunch.
Peruse the landscape until you've settled on the best view to enjoy while you munch, sip, and catch up on each others' lives.
Eat, drink, laugh, talk, walk, listen, ask thoughtful questions. Repeat.
Stir shared memories often.

Bake at 68 degrees. Cool before removing yourselves from property.

*Cows Optional
Note - Best served with fresh friends/ingredients

Cow-ology

We lived on the farm for 22 months, surrounded by a dairy farm and, hence, surrounded by cows--LOTS and LOTS of cows. During those 22 months I learned surprising things about cows. 

For example, did you know that cows run really fast? They don't run often, but they run with speed and shocking agility. They also run in-sync--we rarely understood what prompted the herd to begin running. One minute they're peacefully chewing, tails swatting the hordes of flies around them. The next minute they're sprinting--really--sprinting as though some unheard bell had sounded, calling them to greener pastures.

We often ate our dinners with a black-and-white audience watching us from 40-50 ft away. It seemed like most of our cow neighbors tried to get front row seats whenever we were out gardening or hanging out in the yard. When we fished in our pond these front row observers moved up and stood behind us only 12-20 ft. I confess--when they stood that close behind while I fished I wondered whether they were organizing a cow ambush and that's no bull...

I will verify a significant cow fact that you probably already know. Cows spend their days chewing. They chew and chew and chew. When they move to a new part of the pasture they're looking for something new on which to chew. Even while they stared at us chewing our dinner they continued chewing their breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack.


So here's what I'm chewing on now that we've left the farm...  Maybe cows have the right idea. Maybe cows have it--life--figured out. Life is meant to be chewed and chewed and chewed. Perhaps our days should be mostly filled with chewing, and very little running.


Does every human being need a steady diet of soul-food on which to chew? 

I've spent a lot of days sprinting, breathless--running from one task/person to the next task/person and then collapsing exhausted into bed at night. I've eaten real food--even delicious food--on the fly just because I suddenly realized that I'd grown shaky from not eating. Many days I've kept a frenetic pace, and then squeezed in a bit of soul-food-chewing at the end of a day when I had to fight to keep awake.


The cows have it. Really. So I've been asking...

• Which "foods," a.k.a., activities, a.k.a., people, feed my soul?
• Do I get a steady diet of soul-food each day--even Monday-Friday?
• Am I starving my soul?
• What's worth chewing on today?
• Do I notice even the smallest bits of beauty in every day?
• What makes my soul smile?

 Used to think these were selfish, indulgent questions. Used to think that loving Jesus meant days filled full with productivity and motion. Nope--not any more. Cow-ology--time to feed the soul and chew and chew and chew.

The Cow's a Bonus...

Ever set out to take a family photo and it's a nightmare during the process? That's how it was in taking this lovely farm photo. The end result--fantastic--love it--it's a keeper! The process--nightmare--never-want-to-repeat it. Cats scratching, dog wouldn't stay still, photographer a long-time family friend that witnessed unbelievable amts of tension and is sworn to silence about the whole experience, one subject constantly barking (hint--not the dog!), 7,000 opinions on the best angles/lights/settings...

It's highly likely that this will remain my all-time favorite family photo. Seven people, 3 pets, the cow's a bonus!